Thankx to ALL of YOU for keeping up with MY pitiful, mostly selfish story!

I've been working on an update to thank ALL of YOU and to spread the good news that WE are able to share.

I do appreciate your attention and support. I cannot explain it, but just having people present who don't look down on me for borrowing, and actually wish me success, is such a reassuring feeling of community and neighborhood; whether someone sent money, or not, because the feeling is the same for YOUR kind support and for your loving attention.

Sometimes I need love and support even more than money, but they didn’t work on MY lender. See what kinda guy HE is?

YOUR help and support has been just like people coming by to cut-up a tree that has fallen on our house, or to dig US out of the flood. I feel that close to ALL of YOU even though I didn't get to bring out coffee and sandwiches for you all.

YOUR financial help AND support is a true sign of love and acceptance and of YOUR generosity. I thank ALL of YOU from my little toes and hope that I might return the favor when needed, or pass it on.

We're doing okay. We made the first payment that was late within two days of me opening my too-proud mouth. About a week later, we were able to make some payments for May and June bills that had fallen behind, so we wouldn't experience loss of services.

We have enough money on hand for the July payment due on the 31st of July and to pay our shut-off notice for the electric bill which didn’t get paid in May-June-July.

We have about half of what we need for August overall with some of that money still in the mail, we think. We’re doing great and breathing like normal people again.

Most importantly, WE are not fighting over money, which is something none of US should ever fight over. This would make a great topic string.

Our borrowing is still under what we can save, to pay back, during the school year barring some unfortunate occurrence, but OUR lenders are NOW also people who are understanding and patient enough that even with an unfortunate occurrence, WE won’t lose OUR house. Folks will support us. We won’t have much reserve next summer, but WE are working on a plan for boosting that reserve, as well!

I cannot explain what a relief YOUR generosity and support has been for US, but I have also heard from nearly every one who made loans to US that THEY are in the same boat financially, or were in the recent past!

What’s up with OUR economy that so many of US who work so hard are struggling so much?

Thankx again! Very much love to you ALL, RicHARD Makepeace

Dear family and friends

OKAY! We need help! We are going to lose our house IF we cannot come up with $3800.00 dollars in a week to ten days and another $2000.00 by July 31st.

We have been struggling successfully with our bankruptcy for two-and-a-half years and will finish it completely by November of this year. In February, we were blindsided by a conditional order allowing our mortgage company to collect all of our arrears in addition to our bankruptcy payments. We paid nearly $2500.00 extra in March, April, and May, but were unable to pay the June payment which was due at the end of the month.

This is the lowest point of our financial situation. When we are able to pay this conditional order, we will have no outstanding debt, except our school loans and five more months of bankruptcy payments. Until the surprising February order, we thought we were slowly climbing back to solvency. Together, we have tried everything. We can only survive this difficult period with your help.

We are not asking for handouts. We are asking for loans, which we know we can repay: Despite a fire, a flood, and bankruptcy payments, we were able to save almost $6000.00 dollars last year, which was eaten up by the March, April and May payments on the conditional order. Beginning in October, we will be able to pay back $300.00 to $500.00 dollars each month.

We are not lazy and we are not frivolous. We can pay and we will. I am sending this to those I consider MY Onet family. Everyone on this list is someone to whom Amanda and I would gladly give money. By sending this request to many people, we are hoping not to cause a hardship for those who help.

Please lend us what you can. We really need your help. We will keep track of what you send us and we will pay back every penny, once we save our house.

Thank you for your patience and assistance. May you continue to have peace and success in all that you do. Thanks again.

RicH and Amanda

Superlatives rule when someone doesn’t really know what to say about something. I could have made that an I-statement, but I generally know exactly what to say, and still use superlatives. I have a superlative sort of life.

Further proof of the truth of MY great life is that MY son wrote me a great letter for my birthday. Most fathers will understand immediately that a long personal letter from any child is a great gift, but a long personal letter from a beloved son, is in addition to being manna and a cup filled with wild honey, a rara avis.

In my personal case, a long personal letter from my son is even more of a rare bird because this son has had ALMOST NO contact with ME for nearly twelve years. The modifying clause above, In my personal case, appears to be why this missive is in my personal news and not where it should be in the community general spot. Making that assumption would be a drag to YOUR understanding of this sweet story.

Like it or not, I am a powerful general in this community, but I am happy to indulge myself in MY personal news, so as not to offend YOUR dignity and majesty: Real, or imaginary.

MY children are all the offspring of genuine American royalty. This is not my imagination, active as it is. All five of MY children have Mothers who are both fiercely royal and majestic. This is not hyperbole, or boast, it is a fact. MY kids and MY wives come from right good stock; I marry well.

This particular son, Jorden, has been as sorely missed as ANY favorite Son, as any of you who are parents would rightly know. I know that as parents we must never talk of favorites, as we should never speak of favorites between our lovers and friends. MY favorite is, generally speaking, the one that I am with at the moment. I have a real Van Morrison attitude about the one I’m with.

MY attention is just that short.

I love you, Jorden and I thank you for your email, after so long, made only more welcome.

Yes, my life is transparent. I can feel some of YOU cringe even as I write this, but MY life is MY own: Community and cooperation, be damned, in the final analysis.

I forget MY conscience quote at the moment. Some Marine Drill Instructor (MDI) thing. Oh, yes . . . “Loyalty above ALL else, EXCEPT honor.” I do not know who said that originally, maybe Norbert, or Harry could look it up, but I have used it for years and years.

Ain’t had to use it very much lately, or I woulda remembered it better. Maybe?!?

Anyway, I am transparent. Mostly because I have sworn to the Canton Group that I would be MY AVP-Self I was talking on Sunday in Canton at OUR last meal together, with Sebastian Herrera about not seeing MY children and Sebastian said, "You should do something, so it's not another ten years before you see them again."

I am posting Jorden’s email, MY response and MY other son/nephew/brother, adopted Clan-Chieftain-Viking-Samurai Brian’s unrequested response to Jorden’s letter, after receiving my email telling that fool to stand-by; I might need some help.

Brian's response was, "Way ahead of you, Old Man." Have I impressed ANY of YOU who have met ME as an "Old Man?" Maybe that's the general thing kicking in again? Some warriors do not do the stand-by thing. A real general would kick Brian's skinny ass!

How do I get real enough for that sort of thing?

. . . that MY name is also, Riotous RicHie. At AVP, the Alternatives to Violence Project, WE choose adjectives to describe ourselves. The adjective must be positive and it ought to start with the same first letter as your name. Ought is italicized up there because folks who do AVP are notoriously poor for getting them to do the "oughts."

The woulda, shoulda, coulda, gotta, have to, need to set are curiously absent from longterm AVP participants.

At first I was Righteous Richie, then Random Richie, then Radical Richie and finally, Riotous RicHie. Each of them adjectives got meaning for me. Riotous is the adjective that is pertinent to p'omidyar because many of the questions asked about me here can be answered by reference to my adjective name and membership in AVP.

I am a HARD case. Just as I capitalize the last part of my first name, RicHARD, I live half in caps and half in lower-case. I have been an outsider all my life. From my first interaction at AVP I was accepted; I have never been treated as an outsider at AVP.

Recently, due to Mark Grimes, I have committed to being a full-time member at p'omidyar: A p'omidizen? I hear them groans. God, IF YOU only knew what YOU were going to learn from ME. When YOU think of Riotous, please think of a riot of flowers.

Since personalizing Mark's comment about Drives-byes here at p'omidyar, I’ve been thinking about community -- A LOT!!

I am like a dog sucking marrow from a bone when I get an idea. We used to have a class of people called “intellectuals” with a sub-class called “philosophers.” This, now lost, class of folks, used to think about things. You know, back when thinking wasn’t WRONG.

Even lower than intellectuals and philosophers, we had, and fortunately still have, an almost completely useless, alien, nearly subhuman group called “writers.”

Most folks would agree that intellectuals, writers and other academic-social trash are not as important to building community as healers, plumbers and fellas who make the traffic lights work. I don’t think this is true and respectfully disagree.

All my life, I have been filled with wonder.

I do not know whether or not, I remember my first trip to the store, but I do remember the first time I remember being in the store and being completely gripped by the shiny talons of wonder and awe: Not to mention Amerikan consumerist brainwashing. Like a skinny, blond magpie, overwhelmed by odors and sounds and the thousands of shiny objects that even then comprised an American shopping experience, joy and delight slowly crept over me. That astounding moment, and millions and millions of others, has never left me. They are wrapped up in my brain like gin-soaked cotton.

Memory, conscious and unconscious, guides, but does not dictate.

The World is a very astounding place.

What does any of that have to do with Drives-by Builds Community?

Before I finally got free of my parents' clutches, at fifteen, I attended seventeen different schools. That doesn’t sound like too many: Seventeen in ten years of school, a couple each year. No problem. The ratio of schools to years grows when I add in attending grades one through three and the first five weeks of fourth grade at the same school: Miller Elementary, where I met the legendary Mrs. Eva Hard. With that addition the number of schools-to-years ratio changes to sixteen schools in six years. A ratio like that represents a whirlwind of movement that is fairly common to many kids in Amerika, even today.

It is common for migrant children and other children of the poor to go to many different skols during their confinement within OUR educational system. In Uh-mare-ree-kay, this is thought to be better than many places where kids get no education at all.

MY parents were not migrants, nor were they exceedingly poor. MY parents were penny-ante, grifters and smalltime con-artists. So was I. By the time I was seven or eight, I could take advantage of most adults, and ALL inebriated adults.

I grew up in bars and poolrooms and in the back seat of various automobiles. MY favorite being a 1959 Nash Rambler.

My family moved to shake down various charitable organizations and others of compassion and good will. We moved to avoid being jailed. We moved thinking that a different place would solve all our problems.

MY childhood was a very astounding place. I did not form regular habits as a child and I do not have them now. MY upbringing was probably different from YOURS.

That’s a GOOD thing.

What does any of that have to do with building community.

Showing up every day at a new skol, or anywhere else, that a whole group of people have a set of rules, habits, customs and practices teaches a skill set that most sedentary, habituated people never have to encounter. When the first day of skol can be every day, or any day, one’s world view is changed and not always for the better.

Even the idea that one set of social skills is BETTER than another set when both have good and bad parts illustrates a cultural bias toward people who live in one place and who go to school and work every day. The cultural bias WE have for the ordinary and the regular is also a bias here at p’omidyar where middle-class values, language and thought rigidly predominate.

The idea of what constitutes GOOD and valuable behavior here at p’omidyar is exactly the same, for the most part, as the dominant values, language and thought that prevails in our culture at large. The same predominantly middle-class cultural bias that exists at large in America prevails here. We will not change our culture until we change our biases.

According to the social conventions, and the popular wisdom here at p'omidyar, regularity in participation and contribution, and the physical expressions of regularity, the habits of middle-class people, are more important and more meaningful in building community than the habits of those who are not middle-class.

I do not believe the above bias to be true: Whether a jackass, or a genius tells you that your house is on fire doesn’t matter unless you stubbornly insist on ignoring the fire.

Einstein said, "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness that created them." I declare and assert that I am someone who is constantly challenging the status quo and raising human consciousness: Both here and in meat-space.

I agree with Mark that “Action Jackson, moving things from theory and talk into reality” is critically important, but I would caution as Hemingway did to “Never mistake motion for action.”

I would also offer that much that looks like it is only “theory and talk” is in many ways more adaptive, more supportive, and active than much of what WE call “reality,” or certainly, what we would call, ineffective action. With so many active people, why don't we have peace, better schools, or gay marriage? Because most so-called, action is ineffective movement.

Ask Norbert!

I am not just talking about cheerleaders and therapists here, though most of the folks on this board need both, rather glaringly. I am not just talking about those among us, writers, philosophers and other intellectuals, who work to redirect our thought and who bring sunlight and water to help new ways of thinking unfold and blossom. I am not just talking about pompous windbags like myself who only finger-point and pontificate.

I’m talking about ALL those here, and out in meat-space, who move and learn slowly, who need to be cultivated and encouraged, who need to know that someone trustworthy and patient is gonna be there for them when they flop: When they say, or do, something incredibly stupid, or just innocently step outside the lines of the terrifically narrow, rigidly enforced, middle-class social mores that we all have to deal with at p'omidyar and in meat-space.

Finally, I am talking about those who see the World differently and who have the self-esteem and the courage and the Power to stand up and say, “Hey, what about this . . .?” Or even: “What the fuck?”

They also serve, who only sit and wonder. Or complain.

I contend that I carry a very important message here at p’omidyar AND in meat-space. I hold that I have supported and helped countless people and projects here. I declare that anytime, anyone at p'omidyar has asked me for ANY help, not related to speech, that I have given MY assistance freely and cheerfully. I hold NO grudges.

I also assert that participation in seemingly useless strings here like Word Association, once upon a time and What Are You Reading at the Moment, that look like time-wasters, are important too, at least in the sense of, All Work and No Play makes for dullness.

I invite ALL of YOU who support me and who feel supported and loved by ME to contribute to this string because I do think that I am worthy enough to be one of Mark's 250 point persons. I am. I am. I am!

I know that I am good enough to be a 100 point person. I mean, at least, a 25 point person, wouldn't ya think? Please help me? Circulate a petition, have a demonstration, occupy Mark's home, for Christ's sake, I just can't take it. Please, please help me!

THIS IS A HALF-EDITTED POST!! IT IS GOOD ENOUGH TO READ AND REPLY TO, BUT IT IS NOT FINISHED YET 14 February 2007 12:30PM

Netscape and Explorer have crashed half a dozen times while I was working hard to edit this drivel. Mayhaps that is a sign from god, but ALL the Gods be damned, I am going to finish this fucking thing. Period. **Let YOUR god be warned!!* AND I do not use the G-word lightly, though the MF word just slip right out. Keep that in mind!! Love, 9th Street RicHie*

Imagine a BIG Disclaimer here!! Is there a lawyer in the house? This is long: 2500+plus words with little or no comic relief.

For those of you, like me, who are completely in the dark even after reading it, this is a conversation between Diane T, of appreciation-fame and me about what to do to be a CO-Leader at the Appreciation Ping-Pong Game.

Diane's appreciation sites are strings that I fully support, even IF folks can't tell my appreciating from my reglar HillBilly-Ebonics, though I might not be able to find the strings again without asking Mike Maranda, or Mark.

My best advice is: SKIP OVER this without reading. I do not write for any particular audience, nor with writing like mine, could I fairly expect an audience. I know that most Web-denizens skip reading my crap and Ii am quite comfortable with personal choice. I take the same route myself many times, though not as often as I’d like.

Those of you who are compassionate enough, masochistic enough, or brave enough to still be here, or simply bored: Read on McDuff:

Diane, I beg your pardon, but I am going to post this to your AppreciationBlog, so you can take it down IF you need to: Up, or down is exactly the same to me.

I did not write it for anyone, yourself included, as I am not interested in changing anyone or anything, except myself and my own behavior. Nor were your comments, directly related to, or the cause of my responses in any manner. I guess that is sort of a disclaimer.

As you can see, my response has very little to do with you, or your comments. In fact, my response appears to follow no logic at all, even one of its own. That's scary.

I do not apologize: Either for appearing irrational, or seeming to be unreasonable. I proudly claim to be both, but not, unfortunately, with any consistency. Oh, to be consistent AND praiseworthy!! “Wouldn’t that be loverly?”

I will also mount this in my Personal News where no one except the nebulous authorities, or myself can remove it! Or maybe Norbert, Mark and Ted.

I know this discussion started out as a PM; I know that Web conventions assume that what is private will stay private, but I do not live by convention.

I have not invited ANY private speech into my life in more than two decades. My life is an open book. I am shooting for complete transparency. I do not think there is anything scandalous, or risqué in your post, or mine, but you may disagree.

I am NOT the final word on what is socially-acceptable: IF ya want good-housekeeping call Martha Stewart. She always seemed honest enough to me.

--- ~Diane T.~ wrote:

(( WOW! You also have a lot of wisdom and practical experience it seems. Is your comfort zone your left-brain or right-brain or integrated ying/yang circle, mind/body/spirit?

Well, I don't know about all of that, but I don’t seem to worry overmuch about anything -- usually. I never have; this used to be very frustrating to my brother when we ran our company. When worry gets on me, it is about like getting cold: When I don’t let myself get cold, I don’t have to shiver my way back to not being cold.

I only plug in my left-brain (logic) when I have to at work, when I am playing around as a volunteer, I prefer to be intuitive, visionary,(illogical) spontaneous, and just say what pops in my mind, without worrying about what people think. So do I have to get back into my left brain and answer logically?

I'm more like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. My comfort zone is not to think about shit at all. I’m fairly mindless on the whole. I don't worry about what answer will come out. Something will come out, or it won't! Either way, I will have an answer cause basically I'm brainless AND out of my mind.

I only hope that I will learn as much from the answer as I did from the question. I have not worried about LOGICAL answers for many decades. I no longer believe that logic of any kind exists, but please do not tell Lars, or Norbert. Though even Jere Hough might rise to that one! Oddly, I do believe in CommonSense.

OK, if you ask me, first, read the vision at the AppreciationBlog(tm) in Omidyar. Then share with me what comes into your mind, ask Higher Power ("HP" or God or the Buddha within you), how can you be truly helpful to realize your highest potential within the context of that vision. Then let me know what you heard.

I will go and “read the vision at the AppreciationBlog(tm).” I hope it is vision as in vision statement and not a vision as in vision from on High. In any event, I will share what comes into my mind, though I don't have much communication with HP, Higher Power, God or Buddha; I'm kinda okay if They All just leave me alone. I kinda deal with Them Cats on the They-don’t-bother-ME-and-Ii-won’t bother-Them system. The Gods seem to have accepted that arrangement: And I do not use the G-word lightly. Except in sublime moments of rapture . . .

I don't know quite what you mean about realizing my "highest potential within the context of that vision," but I'm sure that I will get an answer, or I won't, but either way that will be the answer. That's a fair tough question about being helpful, even the idea of being helpful is questionable to me. I'm not sure whether any of US are all that helpful.

Second, think of people who made a positive difference in your life, and acknowledge them so you are in peace since no one guarantees we will be around tomorrow, even though we probably will be around many decades. Best to share your appreciation while you can and you will have no regrets no matter what.

I've already done this. Ii am at peace. Ii want for nothing. Ii have no regrets. Ii have no resentment, or animosity toward anyone. In a proper TwelveStep program, this is called “doing the Steps,” but I’ve had more therapy than Woody Allen as well.

My friends think I over do it with the appreciation thing. And with the apology thing, which TwelveSteppers call, “making amends.” Strangers sometimes think I’m mocking, or insincere when I “shower” them with love and affection, but I don’t care much what strangers think either. I work very hard at being civil, and polite though.

I was reading one of Gandhi's later books and I heard him say something like what I wrote above about being at peace. I was eighteen or nineteen at the time and I thought, What nonsense?! How could you not be angry at someone?

It took me another twenty years to understand what Gandhi meant, but loving acceptance isn't really all that difficult.

Whenever I am uneasy, I deal with it in exactly that moment, assuming I realize my immediate stupidity. When I do not realize it in the moment, for some breach of attention, or compassion, I go back and fix it the very next moment that I am conscious of missing it the first time. One cannot be attentive and compassionate every moment, except for weird priests of one kind or another. Usually, my little issues are pretty minor in the Grand Scheme of things anyway.

Third, think of all the people in Omidyar who have make this such an interesting website. One person at a time, sincerely appreciate Pierre and Pam Omidyar, their staff, the active members, and all the members, one at a time. Find something you can sincerely appreciate, taking nothing for granted.

Many of the people that I appreciate from omidyar have been shouted down or run off for one reason or another. Appreciating THEM would probably just open old wounds.

I was gonna write here that I don't really appreciate Pierre and Pam Omidyar that much, but my hand sorta stopped me, because that's not exactly what I meant, and it is plainly not true in its particulars. I do appreciate the Omidyars a lot, in the same way that I appreciate Andrew Carnegie.

I love eBay, though I never get the deal I think I will and I really really love omidyar – although that love is tempered by an abiding frustration, much of the time. There are people here that I deeply and truly love, who I consider part of my family, my community, my tribe: Everything that I have is theirs. I’ll make a list for you one day: I promise.

I wish the Omidyars well. They are doing good work everywhere and rightfully getting the kudos for that work.

I wish for the Omidyars, everything that I wish for myself, or for those who I love; everything that I wish for all of US and not in any abstract way. I wish for the Omidyars, exactly what I wish for you, Miz Diane.

I wish them love, freedom, and the on-going care and comfort of those around them. I pray that their family and friends and communities are safe and happy every minute of every day – every instance when happy-safety is possible for any of US and I do not use the P-word lightly. I wish the Omidyars joyous interesting fun lives filled with peace and success in everything they do.

I admire what the Omidyars have attempted what little I know about them. I respect the Omidyars as fellow humyn beings. I would freely give them whatever aid and comfort were available to me. I understand exchanging aid and comfort, to be the basic obligation of community, as well as the minimum expression of one’s humynity. I work hard not to judge Others by those same standards.

On the other hand, I have never interacted with Pam and Pierre very much. I once saw Pam on a quotations string, but even then we didn't interact. I don't have anything against the Omidyars. I don't have anything against anyone here and having spent more than a year at O-net, that is quite a statement.

On the other hand, I do not hate Osama bin Laden, or George Bush. Reagan came as close as anyone ever has, to really annoying me, but I got over it with a little help from my friends. Then he died. I didn’t shed any tears, but I do believe that I was diminished by his death, just as the brutal murder of Saddam Hussein, diminished all people who love freedom and who cherish life and liberty.

I'm not sure whether ponying up the money for this site is such a big thing. I think the entire web should be free, phones and televisions and radios too for that matter. I think the few pennies, comparatively speaking, the Omidyars put toward this site is more than returned by the positive value they receive in publicity and goodwill. There are plenty of free sites around the web that work just as well, are equally socially-concerned, and where one is not constantly bombarded with how generous the hosts are.

I think everybody ought to give everything away; once someone has enough to live on, AND their needs met, the rest needs to be shared. I think most philanthropists could give away more, and give it away quicker.

I don’t mean to minimize the Omidyar’s contribution; I bless people who put a nickel in the beggar’s cup. I’m the guy who passes the hat for the kitchen help and the band. I know the value of a dollar, as well as anyone who will ever read this.

I am very grateful for this site and for the chance this site, not the Omidyars, have given me to develop deep emotional and social bonds.

But . . . IF I weren’t at this site, I’d be somewhere else doing exactly the same thing. I do think that O-net is better than many other places that I have been on the Web FOR ME because early on a majority of folks here spoke up and defended my First Amendment rights that I was going to exercise anyway. People here also, very quickly got used to, the odd mixture of hillbilly-Ebonics, which I sometimes mistake for speech.

This site has given me the opportunity to meet a lot of great people, yourself included, but there are thousands of free sites where I could have done the same thing. This site wasn’t a success simply because the Omidyars gave a small fortune to set it up and to maintain it. Folks inside and outside of this site made this site a success. The money that the Omidyars have, buys them much better access to a soapbox in the public square, but many others have helped this site along and are responsible for the soapbox and the square being available to ALL of US.

When eBay and the Omidyars started out, they had the same chances of success and failure as everybody else. Those dot.coms were go, go, go and then they were goners; I think everyone from that background knows that their success was largely trial and error; things coulda gone the other way just as easily. All entrepreneurs know what a dice toss starting and running a business is. I’ve never spoken with one small business owner who didn’t thank their lucky stars for at least part of their success. That the Omidyar’s small business, grew to be so large was a lucky blessing in addition to their effort.

WE are all blessed to be wherever WE are. Where WE are though, is a delicate balance, strengthened once an idea takes hold; but once an idea takes hold, that idea gives the people more access to all the tools and venues that the expression of success needs.

WE, who consider ourselves successful, are then increasingly LUCKY.

George Bush, who isn’t nearly as righteous, clever, or honest as most of my immediate friends, has a much better chance of being on the six o’clock news than THEY do even though he very probably doesn’t deserve either the attention, or the access. The world is neither fair nor sane. But some of US are extremely lucky.

I do admire Thomas and Haney and the rest of the omidyar staff that I have interacted with here. I think they work hard and that they are knowledgeable and friendly. I think omidyar is a well-run, constantly improving site. I love it here and I am glad that Mark and Ted and Norbert permit me to stay here. I wish the Omidyars and even Dubya continued success of every kind, but I know that any kind of success, is but one small measure of worth and value. I believe that Pierre and Pam work hard, that they are sincere generous loving people, and that they deserve their success but hell, I think that of almost everyone. On those rare occasions when I am thoughtful.

And I am working on thinking better about the rest. Because thought and love are in me, not floating around the Universe without rhyme or reason. WE don’t fall in love just because love occasionally falls on US. I can begin to think better of Others, at just about ANY moment. Thank god for that: And I do not use the G-word lightly.

Study their profile, see what interests you share, see how they are contributing, see how active they are which reflects how much time they are contributing to this site, etc. This is appreciation-conditioning exercises for you to shape you as a co-leader.

I already take these actions. I spread my points and goodwill around as much as I can, probably much more than desired or warranted by my tiny skill-set. I leave people little notes and pick-me-ups, as I call ‘em everywhere on this site. I work hard to do this in my day-to-day life as well. I send cards. I open doors. I kneel down and help the crying child, lost soul, or the old lady with the untied shoe. Again: I see these things to be the basic obligations of community, as well as the minimum expression my humanity. I give openly and freely whatever aid and comfort is available to me.

I will continue to do what I have always done at omidyar: Wander around like a lost child, crying in the wilderness, and sticking my nose in where it don’t belong. I’m good at that sort of wandering, only because it is my nature. And I do not agree that activity levels, here or anywhere else, are any indicator of how much someone contributes. I’ve known lots and lots of carpenters who worked like hell and didn’t get nothing done with the whole day. Showing up, and wearing buttons, isn’t enough, although it is the core.

As you know, one of the responsibilities of a co-leader is to make sure the energy and people environment are safe, creative, positive and foster productivity, good morale and prosperity. We help other leaders do this providing positive energy, interest and support for its users, staff, others.

I firmly believe that safety, creativity, and positive insights “foster productivity, good morale and prosperity.” I also believe that the falsely positive outlook that hides issues rather than explores them, is worse than negativity and complaining. I think that people who use their positive or negative points to cut off discussion that they do not wish to hear are the worst sorts of cowards and despots. Bribery and force are not positive, creative, or productive; they are pernicious and cowardly.

I think it is a leader’s job to give the smallest voices a chance, to listen to the loudest voices and bring the two views to the table fairly. I think it is a leader’s duty to be a whistle-blower and to support whistle-blowers. I think it is a leader’s job to take ALL complaints, and compliments for that matter, seriously and to investigate anything that bothers a team member.

I think it is a leader’s job to model the behavior that they wish to see from their team or their families.

I don’t think manipulating others into using the approved language is any sort of leadership; Attempting to fix other people’s language, or their views is a gentle form of fascist tyranny used by those whose ideas won’t make it in the marketplace on their own. Attempting to place one form of language over another is a despotism, only different from truncheons and gas chambers in its method, not in its ends.

After we complete these items and have fun doing it, then we are ready to appreciate others in the nation and world. Pick the people, situations, actions which are easiest for you to appreciate first. Have fun at this, it is good for everyone! You can do what you wish, but I believe we can't go too far wrong by keeping the above directions in mind as a way to give back and contribute to a beautiful community.

I actually have a different view of this idea as well. No surprise, eh? I start with those most difficult to appreciate and give love to. THEY are the best teachers. The folks out there already “doing good,” for lack of a better term, are surrounded by those who uplift them and worship them. It is “the least among these” who WE need to sit next to at the dinner table of community. WE need to learn to become like THEM, not to have THEM become like US. It seems a good idea to stick always to the good and the positive, but it is the most unlikely who have the most to contribute. This has ever been true.

I took a very long time in answering your mail and I hope that I did justice to OUR discussion, but I very much want you to know that I sense no harm from you, or from anyone at this site. I am a First Amendment Absolutist; I believe in free speech. I know how much MY free speech costs.

I also believe that conflict and controversy are not negative, even when they frighten me the most. I admire what you have been doing here and I wish you well. I will, of course, keep appreciating folks and things, but not because of them.

I do not love others for themselves. I love others for myself because loving beats every alternative that I have tried. When Ii love Others, I am filled with a feeling of loving.

Those of YOU from other planets may substitute the Spirit of Love, Christ’s Love, the Breath of a Living God, Sweet Baby Jesus, romantic love, or Beelzebub IF you need to, I only beg YOU, allow me to use MY own language.

Diane, good luck to you here. Once again I say that I will do anything I can to help your project(s) succeed here. Love hope and deep respect to you, RicH

Also, PLEASE help us to thank each person who has already contributed to the Appreciation Board(tm) to acknowledge them and thank them for their contribution and support! You know how to do this, just click the "reply" button and speak from your heart about how much all of us appreciate their comments. Thanks again for your kind assistance!

Two circumstances contribute to my replying to a post: I must be moved and I must have points to give to the person who started the string. It has been my habit to pay for ALL of my posts here at omidyar. I haven’t been rigid in this habit, but I have been fairly consistent as I am in most things.

I give my appreciation openly: I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I also wear my guns out where everybody can see them, I will not hesitate to respond to an appreciation, or ANY action at O-net, that I believe is out of line, or that falls from my good graces.

I will exercise, and zealously guard, both my right to speak positively and my right to speak negatively.

With appreciation,

Diane

With love,

The ever-long-winded RicH

Though he was probably viciously misquoted too, the Buddha says:

"If a man by causing pain to others, wishes to obtain pleasure for himself, he, entangled in the bonds of selfishness, will never be free from hatred. Let a man overcome anger by love, let him overcome evil by good; let him overcome the greedy by liberality, the liar by truth! For hatred does not cease by hatred at any time; hatred ceases by not hatred, this is an old rule.

Speak the truth, do not yield to anger; give, if thou art asked; by these three steps thou wilt become divine."

This is probably where Old JC got that all we need is love thing.

I made a pledge that I would never give anyone a negative point. I managed to keep my pledge.

No form of punishment EVER works.

Even as a shortcut, negative reinforcement, which appears to work, because it is quick and painful AND people want it to stop, fails to make lasting improvement. Most people don't want it to stop badly enough to make ANY real changes. The other side of the equation is that raising the stakes to make punishment more and more negative or lasting like torture, imprisonment and execution ALL either result in lasting dysfunction, or death. This dishonors the Self.

"Hatred does not cease with hatred. Only love conquers hatred. This is the eternal truth." -- Buddha

<Edited by author for simplicity and clarity>

This is MY definition of peace:

Peace is any condition, state, or relationship that permits, or promotes the spontaneous development of the human being; any state that fosters the development of human potential.

I created this definition as a positive, concise definition of peace for my Master's thesis. It is this state of being that I refer to when I use the term. R

Hey, yo, Adrian!! Come by my house!?! If you can find it.

Email: Peacemakersink@hotmail.com

"Drop on in and sit a spell."

I WOULD put my credit card and social security number here IF I actually thought it would do anyone ANY good , or that YOU didn't already have them.

I have nothing to lose; I've given it ALL away. IF my twenty-five year-old stereo that survived two major house fires means more to you than it does to me, I'll carry it out to the car for ya and WE can go back up for my John Prine records.

Mess with my dog, my wife, my children family or friends and the Universe will collapse upon you. You cannot imagine the negative gravity of that proposition.

This is not a threat and in NO manner ought to be taken as one!

Peace and love, RicH