Sleep is not an easy thing to be had tonight. I feel like a kid getting ready to go off to college, and suddenly not so sure I can say goodbye.

I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling with a lot of things going through my head, and I realized that I had some unfinished business here, because this is going through my head on endless loop, and I want to say it out loud:

Pam, don't stop being indignant.

When I arrived here three years ago I remember reading a posting of your's that basically said you were tired of the apathy toward Darfur, and that you weren't going to sit back and take it anymore:

http://www.omidyar.net/user/u126 405033/news/5/

You said you had to "do something", and you surely did. Look at the storm of activity you inspired, and the allies you gathered around this who continue to want to do something after all of this time.

I've met a lot of incredible women in my lifetime, but I want you to know that it is a life-altering privilege to have been able to be sheltered within your electrons and encouraged to stamp out the status quo.

You are a marvellous, compassionate being with a deep love for people. It endures long after the honeymoon period of the headlines is over, past the point where the rest of us may grow weary and back down from a fight. The last time we chatted in SL, you were still just as passionate about Darfur as you were the day I first landed on your digital doorstep here.

Thank you for rolling up your sleeves and working side-by-side with all of us here, and for having graciously allowed us to do this for three years. You have been a gracious hostess, a loving friend, and a citizen of the world in ways I think are sometimes hard for people to comprehend. You continue to use the currency of your influence in powerful and loving ways.

I'll say goodnight now, again, with one last look over my shoulder and a smile this time, because I know whether it's within these walls or not, you're not going to give up that fight.

Thank you for leading by example. Thank you for your humanity, which you encouraged us to put first. Thank you for your great heart.

With love and respect, and always deep thanks,

Namaste, my friend

Sue.

THANK YOU

Three years ago Pam and Pierre opened their doors and their hearts to us here at omidyar.net. While I may not ever know if their own goals were met, the one thing I am certain of is that their graciousness and the generosity of this community changed the course of my life.

I'm not certain I could have connected with the kindred spirits I lived in the midst of here in another place. We were allowed to be passionate, maddening, soulful explorers in spite of ourselves, and many of us leave here with far more than we had when we came.

Pam, there will always be an extra surfboard on my SL beach and a mugga joe waiting on the porch with an easy chair. You have been a kind and loving friend, and I know we'll continue to connect on the other side.

Pierre, I've never had more fun with a geek in a funny hat and a virtual mini in my life ~grins~ You've been an awesome ally, and I am, no word of lie, wearing socks and sandals as I write this to keep me laughing so I don't start to cry.

Thomas ... oi. I've had to take a run at this a few times, because the waterworks start. You are the classiest, most compassionate, most inspiring soul. I can't write what I want to here. It's just too hard. I need to sit down and write y'all a good old fashioned letter by hand because you've been an intimate part of my life overhaul. I wanna be just like you, buddy, if I ever decide to grow up ~hugs~

To the folks who took on the daunting task of preparing a way for us as we move on, thank you. I know a lot of us worry that it will never be the same, but the gift that the Omidyars and their gracious team have given us these past three years has prepared us to connect in more meaningful ways.

To my friends, and there are so many, I am looking forward to finding you in the wonderful new spaces you've been cultivating to grow into as we leave this nest.

~Tapping Norbert on the shoulder~ -- grab the fuzzy bunny slippers, bud, and bring extras. We're gonna need them with all the wandering around we're about to do ~wink~

Please don't forget me. I know I've not been around much the past year, but I hope to find a way to reconnect as I shake off the health nonsense and find ways of becoming aggravating again ~grins~ You'll always find me here:

sue@betterworldscouts.com

Love, peace, gratitude and open arms ...

Your friend,

Sue.

Oh boy ... do I have some catching up to do! I know, what else is new, right? ~laughs~

Health rollercoaster has been a challenge. I wanted to be better right away. I thought once I went through radiation therapy things would start to turn around, and I'd be raising proverbial hell again in short order. Leave it to me to expect the universe to somehow bend herself for me and treat me special. Took a long time to get to the point where they had my medication right to get my body back on track. I was grumpy and impatient and just wanted to be better. About a month ago things finally started to turn around in a dramatic way. I have energy again and the tremors have all but disappeared. The chronic pain is something that only visits occassionally now, which allows me to sit and really focus on something again. I'm starting to remember what normal felt like, and having fun again, and thinking about how to get off my arse and lift these SL Ubuntu kiosks up and get them out there pervasively in Second Life.

With only a single test kiosk in place, and no real SL announcement about it, it's been an interesting pilot period. I've learned several things. One is that the cost I set on "project shares" means less people participate. Lowering these will allow more people to get involved, and boy do they want to! The feedback has been overwhelming. People seem to love having something like this as an alternative for gift-giving in their virtual world, and for simply investing something of themselves, period. They are taking the time to visit the welcome center on the Ubuntu sim, watching the slideshow with the pics from Ha Ma Kata, picking up the literature on the desk. People are writing and asking questions. Almost every major publication in SL (inworld magazines, web ezines, inworld television and radio casts) have asked to cover this before I'm really ready. I'm finally at a point where health issues or not I have to take advantage of the enthusiasm and start talking publicly about the kiosk program. We have lots of people who are anxious to host them in their own inworld shops and venues, so rolling them out across the grid will be as viral as I had hoped it might be.

At present I hope to have an official launch early in September, cutting the first two checks (Paypal?) to the Ha Ma Kata and Kamae Children's Group programs.

The SL Ubuntu program is far from self-sustaining. I'm putting $195 US a month into the cost of the island, on top of the initial $1,295 (? .... need to check that again) that our little band of hoodlums initially invested in it's purchase, so it's cost about $2,800 USD so far to run the pilot. This is all out of pocket right now, so I'll be looking to build an advisory team to help me find a way of transitioning things like accounting/reporting so that the program will be transparent and accountable. I want to get the program to the point where it is self-sustaining, and operating in a manner that's in tune with fiscally responsible charity standards (less than 15% of the monies going to program administration).

I'm also recognizing that while the Second Life economy may be unconventional, running a program like this is not. It really needs to be done through an official charitable organization in a position to receive and disperse the monies that come through the kiosks. The 1% Club is a separate issue, with designers choosing to invest 1% of their monthly profits into an investment pool that will serve as a jointly administered microfinance fund. The pilot has given lots of food for thought about both the unique opportunities and challenges of creating a new charitable/investment utility/program within a virtual world.

I hope you'll forgive the mish-mash update here. I really wanted to get in to let people know how things are transpiring, that it's going well and being received enthusiastically, and that when this is rolled out officially across the Second Life grid this fall it has the markings of a successful new tool for creating funding opportunities for better world programs.

Will try to drag my bottom in here more often to share news, catch up, find out what y'all have been up to! I miss so many friends and allies here.

AND ...

I'm -dazzled- by what Ray and Jackie Brosseuk and Meron Moroz continue to do! Jackie floors me ... absolutely floors me ... with her tenaciousness, pragmatic business approach and gigantic heart. I cannot believe what that girl is doing to cultivate a vibrant, meaningful, sustainable better world hub in Second Life. Ms. Moroz ... good heavens ... another digital hurricane leaving the most incredible things in her wake. These two women are my frigging heroes. Dauntless pain-in-the-asses who will change the world. Truly. While I've spent the last year on the mend, these two have been cultivating some truly cool things. The connectedness between people/media ... the bridge building ... essentially cool stuff to watch.

So, another Braiden hit-and-run ... ~laughs~ My apologies for the infrequency of my reconnecting. I need to fix that. I know I do (or Meron will hunt me down with a big stick).

(btw ... Pam, how is your friend's shoulder? Hoping the boat ride wasn't too excruciating and that she's on the mend!)

I also hear that a certain friend of our's is about to leave Africa to go to university Sweden on a scholarship? Eric Wanjamah you are one of those gifted, heart-first people who deserves every good thing that comes your way. I hope this is a fruitful, happy, blessed thing in your life.

Not sneaking back out again ... just kind of lurking in the doorway.

-- Sue.

Ubuntu Better World Investment Portal

I wanted to let people know about a new project that I'm working on with a group of colleagues in Second Life. It's intended to create a new source of revenue for the kinds of better world projects that so many people are cultivating here at omidyar.net.

I've managed to cobble together the first kiosks to pilot in Second Life, with the Kamae Children's Group project and the school project in Ha Makhata, Lesotho, Africa listed and already gathering funds.

Hoping to include Lar's Peace Tiles and Christina's Tea On Me and Breakfast Club projects in the kiosks if all goes well.

These interactive kiosks will going up all over the grid shortly. Lots of people are asking to put them in their own shops and event venues, and we have quite a few mainstream media folks wanting to cover this. These are little beasts that people can walk up to in any shop or event venue, find cool better world projects to invest in, and do it on the spot. People have really taken to the initial kiosks and projects that are out, and with Meron's and Jackie's help, I've slowly started to identify other projects that might offer simple entry points into funding through the kiosks.

The nice thing about the kiosks is that they allow us to include not only write-ups on the projects, with links back to their genesis on omidyar.net, but also pictures, audio and video so that people are able to have a very personal sense of what they are investing in.

At the moment there is about $1 million USD passing through Second Life every single day. Our goal is to capture 1% of that through people investing into these little projects. Not an unreasonable goal based on the enthusiastic response we've received before even announcing the program in Second Life yet.

I'm looking forward to being able to share our progress with you as this rolls out live. I have 12 project partners, many of them successful business people in Second Life, who have come together to make this happen. They've not only helped open up the "Ubuntu" island SIM to give people a dedicated "alternative gifts" destination, but also to invite people to learn more about microfinance and other ways of learning about and investing in the kind of better world projects that so many people continue to cultivate here at omidyar.net.

If you are a member of the Second Life community, search for the Ubuntu group and sign up so that you can come out and tour the island while it's under construction. Send me a note if you're having trouble signing up or finding the new island, and I'll invite you to the group and send you a landmark to visit to see the new kiosk in action.

Looking forward to making my first Paypal transfer to Stephanie to cover the cost of at least one girl's education very soon :^)

Blessings,

Sue.

Brainstorming with Meron and Jackie

A couple of omidyar.net friends have reached out to me this past week. Some mentioned that people were disappointed that I didn't give a reason for leaving. I feel badly that some are assuming it's been because I was unhappy here, but I really haven't been able to be public about what's been going on with me this past year.

I took sick during the CBC lockout last fall. I thought I had the flu, but I never really recovered. This past winter I had a lung scan done, and it showed a spot. I didn't realize that this had shown up on lung scans the past few years, but the doctor told me this was in fact the case, and that it was getting bigger. At that point, I was hopeful it was scar tissue from the clots that had blown into my lungs a number of times. The folks who spoke with me on the phone knew that I had a hard time breathing and trying to talk for any length of time.

I started to feel a bit better later in the spring, and thought perhaps whatever had been making me sick had sent itself packing, until July when I went to visit family and people did a double take when they saw me. I've lost about 60 pounds for no reason at all, a lot of it muscle mass. I have tremors so bad that I can no longer drive, let along hold a glass or a plate without dropping and breaking it. Some heart damage causing arrhythmia. I have terrible headaches and have a very, very hard time focusing on the screen for any length of time. I have fevers all the time. These are just a few of the more noticeable symptoms, that started to ramp up again in July, and have now left me at the point where it is very difficult to function day to day.

At the beginning of August I blacked out, and my family took me to the doctor. I was incredibly relieved to find out that I have a hyperactive thyroid, and that it's raised my body temperature, excellerated my metabolism into hyperdrive, and has caused most of the major symptoms I've been living with for the better part of a year now. I was relieved because they are able to do radiation therapy on my thryoid for about 6 months, then put me on pills that should bring me back to the land of the living again.

Three weeks ago, my doctor called me back in to tell me that it was not over. My white blood cell count continues to come back a mess, with my lymphocytes 10 times what they should be. They are looking for cancer again.

I wish I could say that I've dealt with this gracefully. I have not. I've retreated from most of the things I did and loved, and basically went into self-preservation mode. I am slowly trying to reclaim a few things, including my contact with the people I sorely miss.

Those of you who know me also know that I am full of piss and vinegar, and will deal with whatever falls in the end with enough of a fight. I feel badly that people were hurt when I quietly slipped away without a word. I did not mean to disrespect the friendships that I've held very dear. I just didn't know how to deal with what I've been going through. A lot of denial, which I'm trying to get out of with the help of my family and a couple of friends who are very close to me here. I'd been refusing to see a doctor the past nine months, but after an arse-kicking have been under the care of a good one this past month.

I hate writing this note at all -- just more of the same old drama -- but it was bothering my conscience when people were good enough to keep finding me and not just letting me go, and when they were telling me that people were disappointed that I'd simply disappeared without a word.

Believe me, I am not ungrateful. Just a little broken at the moment and trying to sort things out again. I miss the people. I miss the activity. I just need time. I know I've had a lot of it already, but I need more. I'll find my way back. I promise.

Meron, Carla, Jackie and Ray, I know it was unfair of me to ask you not to share this, and I thank you for keeping it private for as long as you have. Lars, more than you could know, bud. Haney and Pam, thank you for finding me inworld the times that you did and keeping this to yourself. Being connected to you both made me remember I need to come back here.

Love to you all,

Sue.

(Btw, can anyone tell me how Moses and our friends are doing in the Sudan?)

Just a quick note to say hello again and dispel a few rumours ~grins~.

Yes, I've been sick, but only with the same nasty little flu bug that has had so many other people in it's clutches. I'm quite fine.

No, I haven't been "lost to the game" ~winks~ ... but I have been building a new business in order to support the financial demands of the island project, and it got a little too big too fast and ate me for breakfast. S'all good. Will share some of the things I've learned along the way since it may be of use to a few other folks who've set out to blaze this trail.

I did take time away for personal reasons. Part of it was just my inability to manage my time well, and making poor choices here. Sometimes you have to step back to get your priorities straight again, and that's really all that I've done.

Looking forward to reacquainting myself with the community, and so many friends that I've missed.

Hope you're all happy, inspired and well!

Sue.

Thanksfest on Betterworld Island, Second Life
Friday, November 12, 2005
7:00pm Game Time/PST

All friends welcome.

Today is a big day for my buddy, Timothy Moenk. Some of you may know him as Lyre Calliope from Second Life. However you've connected with him, I hope you'll join me in wishing him a VERY happy 21st birthday! It's one of the big one's.

Salut, my good man. I hope the sushi and saki were grand ;^)

Yeah, it's a mouthful ;^)

I'm going to ask Anne Marie's forgiveness on this one, because I think she's already written about a recent experience she had via a U2 concert in Boston. I suspect she'll connect with what I'm about to write about here, because there's a good chance she's already hit on this.

At the end of September my husband and I spent a weekend without the kids in Chicago. We needed it. Things had been turned upside down in our lives, and sometimes you just have to get away. The trip was planned around the U2 concert, and I have to admit that while I really did want to see them, I was largely indifferent until I got there. Something happened about the 3rd song in. I forgot that I was locked out by CBC and that we believed my husband was about to be locked out by his employer for several months too. I forgot that on that morning I had cried for several hours because I'd just gotten off the phone with my friend Rose who was about to flee a hurricane's wrath for the second time, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I forgot these things because a man -- who has spent some 30 years of his life using his music to champion social justice -- took hold of a microphone and stopped singing to just talk to us. While the multimedia images on the glass bead wall behind him were enough to shock you out of any kind of better world coma you might have been in (the Declaration of Human Rights scrolling past as a young woman vocalized each right in a powerful way), it was the way he told you very plainly why you should start giving a damn again, or maybe for the first time.

Half way through the concert, he stopped again. The audience grew almost silent as he said "You know, when I was in Africa, I learned of this beautiful, powerful word ..."

That was all it took. My husband practically had to wrestle me to the ground to keep me from shouting "Ubuntu!" out at the top of my lungs ;^)

It wasn't so much that Bono gets it, but that he cared enough to take a performance venue that earns him an obscene amount of cash, and used it to reach out to people in a way that made it almost impossible not to connect. The entire performance was a tapestry of lyrics, and images, and powerful invitations to wake up and engage. You left that concert feeling with every fibre of your being that you had to get out there and "do something!"

Text messaging your name to the ONE Campaign wasn't enough. Writing senators wasn't enough. And while it shouldn't matter to us that we've listened because a celebrity told us to, the fact remains that over 2 million people have signed up because of it.

Think about that for a moment.

In the few short months that the ONE Campaign has been alive, over 2 million people -- double the goal -- have publicly declared that they care, and are engaged, and ready to "do something".

Unlike LiveAid, Bono's intentions aren't just grand. They actually mobilize people in a very concrete way.

My husband and I were so transformed by the experience in Chicago, that we went back to see U2 again in Detroit 2 nights ago. It was right after the launch of Better World Island, and got me thinking about a particular question:

How do we take this new shared space that we've got in Second Life, partnered with this concrete and functioning space that we are collaborating in here at omidyar.net, and use them to plug-in to the great ripeness of this momentum?

Bono's got 2 million people all fired up to "do something". What kind of "do-somethings" can we provide using our tools? How do we create that do-something router that allows people to leave something like one of those concerts, go home, and immediately find very concrete ways to plug in. What can they do in their own community to contribute to what's working in the effort to end global poverty? AIDS? child trafficing? genocide?

How can we take the essence of what we do here, and synthesize it in a way that doesn't overwhelm people when they are new?

This was largely what I was attempting to conjure up through the island at SL: a visual catalogue or menu of do-somethings. People can walk up to the Peace Tiles center and see how and why that project is vital. They can watch "Hotel Rwanda" together, even if they are in 10 different countries -- and explore the lessons learned 10 years ago, and what's working since then that can be applied to Darfur. People should be able to walk into Kijiweni and see bold challenge statements and pictures on the walls, inviting them to recognize opportunities to engage and collaborate. They should be able to walk into a pavilion and recognize Jonas Salk, and hear his words about the value of creating "epidemics of health".

How do we take this raw plumbing that is there now at Better World Island and turn it into a living, breathing Do-Something! router?

That's what I was thinking when I left the second concert, and what I'm hoping lots of people will want to collaborate on now ...

http://www.omidyar.net/group/bwi/

Welcome to Better World Island!

Well, it's been a long couple of months, but the prodigal daughter returns (again) ...

After being locked out by CBC for 2 months, we finally returned to work. Did my first show this week. It seemed oddly appropriate that the last thing I did before "the end" was the piece on omidyar.net

Two months gives you a lot of time to think about where you're at with things in general. For me, it was kind of a wonderful reset button, pounding the pavement with a picket sign, connecting with my work colleagues in a new way, and for most of us, dreaming out loud.

So what do you do when you and your husband are both about to be minus an income? Well, you go out and spend an obscene amount of money to buy a virtual island and play Mr. Roarke ;^) Might have seemed like an odd thing to do at the time, but I've been heading in this direction for awhile now, and it just seemed like the right time to reinvent.

So, carrying the context of omidyar.net in my heart, with a digital toolbox at my side, I've been working away quietly on a little gift to return with: "Better World Island". It's an idea that Tom Munnecke invited us to embrace months ago:

http://www.omidyar.net/group/secondlife/news/2/

-- using the Second Life content creation platform to create a shared space where we could interact in a very different way together. I loved this idea! It made sense to me because I've been playing with fully immersible net technologies since they first hit the deck, and know what a powerful catalyst then can be to strengthening personal relationships and connecting in a deeper way to collaborate on projects. They're a great place to work and play and learn and do. The Second Life technology, partnered with omidyar.net "better world building" people and activites, seemed like a match made in heaven.

So, I invite you to join me tonight at 7:00 p.m. PST for a launch party!

Better World (85, 63)

secondlife://Better%20World/85/63

While the island isn't finished, it's far enough along to invite you in to make it your own, and to imagine how we might enrich our work together by using these new shared spaces.

Things that are there now as appetizers:

• The Peace Tiles center, complete with virtual tiles that people will be able to claim and decorate, with the final murals being auctioned off to fund real-world projects
• a drive-in theatre, featuring the full-length feature film "Hotel Rwanda" (also playing in the Peace Tiles center upstairs) for virtual viewing parties
• the Welcome Center (the big yellow house on the hill) where you can drop in and check the bulletin board for events listings, drop a note in the "Great Big Idea Box", or just hang out with other scouts
• the South Shore Pavilion where Food Chain group projects will be highlighted (e.g., click on a coffee cup, you get info on Luke Martin's Orijiro project, Coffee Kids, fair trade coffee, etc.)
• the Serendipity Retreat Center set up with two meeting rooms, easels for your presentation slides, workshop and meeting registration gear, and even a working pool table on the roof for a little playtime between classes
• Kijiweni, which while not set up with content, does have a drum circle waiting for you to play in ;^) (Ms. Evonne ... where are you?)
• an Arts and Artists Studio where you'll be able to join me for classes, learning how to build things in SL, automate them with scripts, and start your own virtual social enterprise
• a marketplace where you'll be able to sell your wares for real U.S. dollars
• a Center for the Performing Arts, where you'll be able to collaborate on benefit CDs
• an amphitheater for live, inworld performances
• a Center for Water Studies (the red Salt Box house) where you'll be invited to innovate around world water issues
• lots of decks and docks, where you can sit in deck chairs and visit, swim in Peace Lake, play on a jetski in the ocean, and grab a virtual fishing pole and have at it just for fun
• and of course, Quixote's -- a hideaway for Tom's windmill tilters, complete with Don Quixote's windmill next door (blackmail pictures of Pierre O. and Timothy M. to follow <grin>)

There are lots and lots of things to click on. Some (like the event journals you'll find laying around on tables and decks in different places) contain challenge questions and link back here to invite people to join in on the discourse around them. Click on everything and anything. There are lots of fun things to do when you're there.

Tom Munnecke ... you are the Ambassador of Kwan when it comes to scouting. Consider this island a tribute to your dreaming out loud, and an invitation to the rest of us to have a bit of fun kicking it up a notch ;^)

If you aren't a member of Second Life yet, you can now join completely free of charge.

You will find that it does require a fairly healthy computer system and graphics card (which is why I'm starting a microfinance fund through the island to help people upgrade to take advantage of this project wherever possible).

If you are already a member, the link above will open up your Second Life client and take you to the island. It's an entire SIM all by itself, so it may take awhile for things to rez into view. Come out and explore when you're able, and by all means join us for the launch party at 7pm tonight.

(Thank you, Carla and Anne Marie, for keeping the secret when you "found me out" ;^)